Hi!

My name is Ty. I'm a 20 year old Colorado native. I'm an artist, a minimum wage worker, and a lover of life. I'm also an assault survivor, a suicide survivor, and anorexia survivor, and a lifetime sufferer of depression and anxiety.


I'm tired of those labels being defining characteristics of who I am. I'm tired of being a victim and a sufferer. I am starting this project because I realized life is too short to waste hating myself and being sad, and then I started to realize that I have the tools to help myself. Once I started to heal, I looked around and realized that there were a lot of other people in my peer group in the same pit I was in. I started to wonder of the things I tried to do for myself might help other people, or at least help them get pointed the way they want to point.


I do not claim my ideas will work for everyone, and I DEFINITELY don't think they're a magic cure. Everything I'm doing and have tried to do has only worked because I genuinely wanted to get better. Depression is kind of like an addiction with how seductive it is, and the only way a person can truly start to heal and continue to do so is when they themselves truly want to get better. I'm hoping that for those of us who want to feel better and move forward, but don't know where to start can maybe some passive direction in what I have to say.


This blog is about self reliance and self-love. I will be posting challenges, things to think about, coping mechanisms I use, and things to brighten your day a few times a week. Take from them what you wish, and feedback is much appreciated. I want to learn from you too!


Thanks guys!


Love, Ty

Monday, May 26, 2014

Expecting Respect

When you're moving through a journey of learning to love and respect yourself, you are going to reach the point where you are treating, thinking about, and carrying yourself in a completely different way than you used to. This is going to affect how people treat you and think about you.

In my personal journey, the changes have been drastic. I now act in such a way that is respectful to myself, and people around me, especially new people I meet, treat me with the same respect. Let me provide an example. One of the ways I used to try and get people to like me was to be an extremely sexual person, ie talk about it a lot, put on a front of being "unashamed" of my sex life and acting in such a way that I thought made me seem sexually liberated. I was just painting myself as trashy and desperate.

Now hear me out, because I can already hear the hackles of women's rights raising. There's nothing wrong with having lots of sex, no matter what your gender is. There's no reason to be ashamed of having sex just because it is sex. In my case however, I was having sex for the wrong reasons. I was using it as a bargaining chip for other people's affections (pssssst, that doesn't ever really work FYI) and having sex that made me feel dirty and sad instead of bringing me happiness, like it's supposed to.

I now am not open about my own sexual history or sexuality. It's no one's business but mine and not something to be used to impress anyone. I generally watch what I say and pay more attention to the crowd I am around and the way I want them to treat me. the result has been that I am viewed as a person who deserves respect, and I get it.

I have always been a person who deserved respect. My new view on life on myself didn't earn me that right, I've always had it, and so have you. The thing is I didn't believe it and didn't act like it. I was a person who treated myself like trash and spent a lot of her time in social situations putting people in their place and not understanding why people were always crossing lines with me instead of being polite. Now, I walk in the room a lady who obviously respects myself and those I am around either follow suit or are no longer around me.

Treat others the way you want to be treated, but don't forget to treat yourself that way too. Lead by example.
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